Friday, October 19, 2007

How do you explain??

How do you help a child deal with the death of a friend? For that matter, how do you help them deal with it or understand it? Yesterday, my step-son, Trevor, found out that his best friend had passed away. Not only am I trying to help him cope, my son, Chase, (who is 8 months younger) is struggling with it also. This is the 2nd death that Trevor has had to deal with in the last 5 months. The day before Mother's Day, Trevor's mom's ex-boyfriend took his own life because she broke up with him .... he was in his mid 30's!!! Trevor seems to have dealt with that a little bit better than he is with his friend Kyle's passing. Kyle apparently had really bad asthma and earlier this week, while playing with his dog, he collapsed in his front room. After rushing him to the hospital, they discovered that his lung had collapsed. As of right now, he is still "with us" physically, but has absolutely no brain activity. They currently have him on life support because he wanted to help other kids, so the parents are donating his organs. Personally, I think that is an extremely selfless act and I applaud them. Knowing that while they can no longer help Kyle, they can still help countless other people. Trevor likes to talk about Kyle alot right now and I don't blame him. It's so hard though to see the hurt in his eyes as he talks about him. Chase came in to me last night while I was trying to go to bed, crying his eyes out saying that he couldn't stop thinking about Kyle. Chase didn't even know him. Chase is struggling with the fact that Kyle was so young and doesn't think that life is fair. In his eyes, he doesn't think that anyone should die ....... EVER. How do you make someone his age understand when you don't understand it yourself? We didn't even know Kyle and it hit me so hard, I had to leave work and go home. I just sat at my desk crying and wishing that there was something I could do for poor Trevor. My biggest fear is that he will start to have a hard time getting attached to people for fear that they may die on him too. So far, he's doing ok. I'm just literally hoping and praying that he stays strong and continues to be the happy little boy that I've always known.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

The joy of total and complete insanity

Looking back at my first post, I realized how morose it sounded and how much it showed the darker side of my life, which very few people see. That is NOT me very often ...... I don't have time. LOL

My life tends to be more of a maelstrom of activity ...... constantly. My oldest daughter (14) is in high school and has discovered a desire to be more involved in things. She has just started volleyball, which practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then has a game on Saturdays. My two little girls (8 and 6), have just joined a soccer team and are thankfully on the same team. They also practice on Tues. and Thurs. and have games on Saturdays. My son (11) continues to play baseball and has practice on Mondays or Wednesdays (sometimes both) and plays not 1, but 2 games a week, usually on Fridays and Saturdays. My husband also plays softball on Friday nights and is currently playing 3 games every Friday. So, between playing taxi for everyone for their games and making sure that everyone is where they belong, I obviously don't have a whole lot of time to dwell on much. LOL I do have to admit though that I absolutely LOVE seeing them out there doing what they love and watching them learn teamwork and how to interact with these other children. It's stressful sometimes though.

I've already given you tidbits of info on my kids and husband, so let me introduce you to the bulk of my family ..... my kids.

My son (Chase - 11) has obviously been given the gift of anger and attitude from his father (the ex). He can be the sweetest and most loving little boy you've ever met in your life. He tends to be a tad overly sensitive at times (another gift from dad), but we're trying to break him of that. Chase has a hard time understanding that he has to suffer consequences when he messes up and has to accept responsibility for his actions also. His mouth tends to write checks his rear can't cash, so to speak. LOL Him and my husband clash in a very very big way. For that matter, Chase clashes with a lot of people, but he's my "only" little boy. : )

Miranda (the high schooler - 14) is a very witty and intelligent girl. She's got the most contagious laugh and she's gorgeous .... thankfully, she isn't quite aware of that though. LOL She is ADHD, so she tends to be quite a challenge as well. She does take medication to help her maintain and stay focused during the day. Unfortunately, after 8 years of taking that medication, she still can't remember to take them on a daily basis without being reminded. Being the oldest child, I expect more of her than she's willing to give.

Trevor (step-son - 12) seems to be a touch ADD also in my opinion but my opinion doesn't matter much with his mom. LOL He's a wonderful kid and fit right in with my kids from the very beginning. I expected him to have a hard time since he was an only child and doted on by both of his parents. He shares his dad very well though with my kids. The biggest issue we tend to have with him is that he has a bad habit of lying. Other than that though, he's a wonderful little boy with more girlfriends that we can keep up with. (He's got his dad's charm and wit.)

My little girl, McKenna (8) has got to be the easiest child in the world to deal with. She was a piece of cake to deal with from day one. She seems to be under the impression that she's much older than her 8 years though. LOL I'm constantly being asked when she can shave her legs and when she can have a cell phone. There tends to be attitude on occasion, but it usually blows over fairly quickly. She's my Kenna and my little mommy. She rides the older kids like she's their mom and tries to tell them what to do all the time.

Where do I even start with Caya (the baby - 6)? She was my hardest pregnancy, my unhappiest baby and the moodiest 6 yr old I've ever seen. She's my baby though. LOL Her favorite character is Tinkerbell, which suits her right to the ground. Super super cute and so sweet one minute and then screaming and throwing a tantrum the next. I don't know how many times I've heard her utter the words (whining & screaming) "I KNEW today wasn't going to be a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!", while I watch her storm into her bedroom.

So ........ welcome to my world. The joy has only just begun. LOL Through all of these ramblings, I'm sure you'll hear more about my kids and husband and about my mom, 2 brothers and their wives and kids. You'll also hear stories about my 2 absolute best friends and the expeditions we take and have taken in the past. You'll also hear about things that drive me crazy and maybe a little insight into who I am and where I come from.

I think I will learn to REALLY enjoy this blogging thing. : )

I'm just me

When I look back and see where I've been and what I've been through in my life, it never ceases to amaze me that I am where I am now. I'm a 32 yr. old mother of 4 biological children and 1 step son, married now for the 2nd time to a wonderful man that knows how to and does drive me insane in many different ways. How did I get here in one piece? How am I not one of those extrememely messed up individuals that trusts no one, does all kinds of drugs and is just a victim of life? Who do I have to thank for that? Is it hereditary or was it just in me to overcome it, learn from it and just move on? We all have our issues and we've all been through our fair share of trials and tribulations, right? How is it that some of us can move on and so many others hold on to it all and use it as an excuse to continue to remain victims? I'm not saying that I've completely overcome everything and that things from my past don't come back to haunt me from time to time, but in my own personal opinion, I think I've done pretty well.
Just a brief synopsis of my life as it is now would consist of 3 girls (Miranda - 14, McKenna - 8, Caya (pronounced Kya) - 6 and 2 boys (Trevor (step-son) - 12 and Chase - 11). It would also consist me surviving my first year of marriage to my husband, Jeff. We've actually known each other for about 17 years, but lost contact after high school, only to regain it and eventually fall in love and get married. It's definitely been tough, but it's to be expected too.
I've never done this whole blogging thing before, nor have I ever even read one, but there have been so many times that I've wanted and needed to just "talk" and get things out in the open, so I decided to try this and see where it gets me. When I was younger and all the way thru my first marriage, I would TRY to find a quiet place to sit down and just pull out a notebook and write to my heart's content. Now in my new marriage, I don't often get the time or the quiet place, so I'm trying this instead. I tried doing the writing thing once before at home because things were especially rough and I thought my husband was going to have a coronary. He's very insecure and needy at times and he just couldn't grasp the concept of me doing something without him and especially the thought of me writing something he wasn't privy to. That was almost a year ago and I STILL hear about it from time to time. Until I get my computer up and running at home, the only time I'll ever be able to do this is at work. Heck .... even if I did have my computer working at home, I'd never have the opportunity to be on it ..... not with 5 kids that all want to be on it. Not to mention Jeff probably wanting to know what was going on and what I was writing. Insecurity is a dangerous thing and not something I handle very well, but we're definitely working on it. LOL As time goes on, we get better and better, but it's been a very long and difficult road. It seems like our biggest issues deal with money, kids and me wanting to be my own person from time to time. It seems like I've always been someone's mom or someone's wife.