A few minutes to spare

Here are some random pics of the kids

Such pretty girls, but goofy Chase in the back

This combination usually doesn't mix very well

Miranda and Bailey



Cuddlin Kenna

Miranda on her way to Homecoming

Kenna up in the snow

Caya was a cheerleader for Halloween

Hangin out at the house

She's so friggin pretty

Jeff and I up in the snow

Here are some pics that I took a month or two ago of all of the kids when we went to Grasshopper Pointe.

Randi and I

Sisterly love

Pretty girl Kenna

Looks like Chase is standing on Jeff's head, huh?

Trevor in his GQ pose

Here's the whole family

Me & my mini-me

Kenna and Bailey

Father and son maybe???

Lost in thought

My Chaser

Mommy and Caya

Gotta pose for the camera, huh Caya?

All 5 of the kids with me at the end.

My crew plus Miranda's friend Bailey

Nothing too exciting going on ... I guess. The kids are certainly keeping me busy ... especially the teenagers. Chase and Trevor are awaiting a date for their orthodontist appt where both of them will be getting braces. Somehow, they are thrilled about this. McKenna is getting WAY too big too. I had to go to the store and buy her an actual bra a few weeks ago!! What is that all about??!! Caya is her usual self ... dramatic, angry and loving. LOL Miranda is making me crazy though. Yesterday she decided to take her sisters to the lake ... without permission. They are on spring break, so they started texting and calling me to ask if they could go with Miranda's friends to the lake. One small problem .... I am in a meeting and don't have my phone. Jeff is at home in bed, but they don't ask him ... they just leave. I get back to my desk to find 3 missed phone calls, 1 voice mail and 11 texts. The texts start off with asking for permission to go and then quickly changes to Miranda telling me that she's going with her friends and taking the girls and not to freak out. She had very good intentions, but she went about it all wrong. I think it's sweet that she wanted to take her sisters out with her for a day at the lake, but I didn't give her permission to be out with 4 of her friends at the lake. Needless to say, Miranda is grounded ... AGAIN!

Relax??!! What is that?

I don't know if I'm ever going to have a few moments to breathe!! With Jeff working the graveyard shift and the two little girls being in sports, it's insane! Caya is in cheer and has practices on Wednesday nights. Kenna is in volleyball and has practice Monday nights. The "ex" is the one that signed them up, but I'm the one that has to play taxi. How the heck does that work? LOL Of course, it just so happens that they both have games on Saturdays too. Go figure. Perfect example ... this weekend, Caya has a game AND team pictures, then we go to Kenna's game AND team pictures. After that, we go to my brother's for my nephew Zane's birthday and then after that ... Trick or treat!!! Serious!!!?? Aren't weekends for relaxing? That is soooooo not the case for me ... never has been. The summers are the worst because I think 95% of our family was born in the summer.

Take all of that and combine it with finding out that my oldest daughter has informed us that she was drinking at school again. WTF??!!!!!! Grounded again. I don't know what to do with her anymore. We've taken everything away and she's done the whole grounded thing already and it obviously didn't work, so what now? What do you do to a 16-yr old girl that just doesn't seem to have any idea what common sense is? We have nothing else to take away from her. I'm at a total loss on this one!!!

See!!! I'm doing a little better at updating! LOL

So, let's see ... where do I begin with what's going on. I'll give a brief run down of each of the kids ... as usual. Miranda is bustin her butt to get missing assignments in because she wants to be able to go to Homecoming this Saturday. LOL She has also made a very major decision in her life. She is going to be baptized this Sunday in front of the entire church ... including our entire family. I can't even begin to put into words how proud I am of her decision. I already know that I am going to bawl like a baby when I see her walk up onto that platform. My whole family is going to be there too. She's growing up on me and I don't know how to make her stop.

Now onto the boys. They are another story at the present moment. I got a call a week ago from the Glendale Police because they needed a guardian to pick them up from the mall because they had been caught shoplifting. SERIOUSLY???!!! What in the world do you do with that? My husband was home, so we headed up to the mall. I called Chase's dad (my ex) and Jeff called Trevor's mom (his ex) and all 4 of us walked into the office en force. The look on those boys' faces was pitiful devastation. That is probably the best way to describe how they looked sitting in the store's loss prevention office with a police officer and ALL of their parents. Needless to say, the boys are seriously grounded. They are in their rooms with nothing but their backpacks, their beds and books. Both boys have read like 3 books a piece so far. I am pretty sure they have learned their lesson ... at least I hope so.

Kenna is currently up north with the entire 5th grade for Outdoor Ed. She left yesterday and will be home tomorrow. They're up there at a camp site that has cabins and learning about nature and how to survive in the wilderness. She's just joined volleyball too, so I've been busy shuttling her back and forth for practices and games.

Caya has just joined cheer and is super thrilled with the fact that she is finally a part of what she's best at. LOL She is constantly on the trampoline doing little dances and different tumbling moves. Now that she's in cheer, all I hear is her singing them and she always wants me to watch her do them ... over and over and over and over. LOL She's so cute!

Besides taking the girls to practices and games, I haven't really been able to do much of anything. Jeff's new schedule has him home til about 8 every night, but that doesn't necessarily mean that we get to see each other. I'm constantly running errands after work and shuttling kids all over the place. Of course, Jeff gets a little bent, but he's got to understand that this is my life and I don't get much of a chance to just sit and "hang out" with him. He sleeps all day because he doesn't get home til around 8 or 9 am, so it's not like he can really run any errands for me. I just wish he would be a little more understanding instead of throwing a fit because I'm not at home with him. Things have been a little rough with us lately because we have such different parenting styles and we view things differently. We're supposed to go to a seminar next month that is supposed to help us in our marriage and in raising kids. I tell you what ... we can use all the help we can get at this point. I am sick to death of arguing with him over stupid crap all the time. It seems like the only time that we truly get along is when the kids are gone for the weekend with their "other" parents. That's NOT how it's supposed to be. I don't want to play referee all the time between him and the kids because he treats them like hoodlums instead of kids. I'm sick of them arguing all the time and having to get phone calls everyday because someone is fighting. Usually the fighting involves Jeff and either Caya, Chase or Miranda. There have even been a few occasions where Kenna has gone toe to toe with Jeff. I can't handle it anymore though. Let's hope that this seminar will help us because if it comes down to it ... my kids will win.

I know, I know ... I am so horrible at this blogging thing. It's been like 3 months since I've posted anything, so here I am.

Here is a pretty recent pic of the crew ... in the middle of Taco bell no less. LOL Everyone is doing really well (knock on wood). Trevor (back left) is in 8th grade and his normal silly self. We finally got him to cut about 4 inches off of his hair so he looks more like a young man and not a blue-eyed girl. I'll see if I can get a more recent pic of it posted on here somehow. Chase (back right) is in 8th grade as well. He broke his foot in 3 places over the summer from skateboarding, but has healed and is of course ... back on the dreaded skateboard. Caya (front left) is in 3rd grade this year and cruising right along. She's finally seeing what school is all about with homework and harder material to conquer. Miranda (front row, center) is a typical 16 yr old teenager. I don't know how she grew up so quickly, but I'm trying to adjust. She's very into boys and also in church. She's going to try out for the worship team at our church this weekend, so she's pretty nervous. McKenna (front right) is in 5th grade this year but acts like she's a Senior. LOL She wants to grow up so fast and keeping her little feet on the ground is becoming pretty challenging.

Jeff and I are doing well. I finally got a new job that I love and I plan on staying there for a long time. Jeff just recently accepted a new position as a supervisor, which is awesome, with the exception of the fact that it's still nights. He'll be working Mon - Fri from 9 pm until like 7am which means I'll actually get to see him when I get home from work instead of missing each other all the way around, like we are now. He'll actually be able to eat dinner with us and everything!!! LOL I guess these are the things we do for our families and the sacrifices we go through to make things work.

I will try very hard to keep this updated and the posts a little more current. Til then ... take care everyone!!

I'm back

So, it's been forever since I've been on here ... I'll try to see if I can do some catching up. Jeff (hubby) is now working nights, which truly sucks big time! He starts at 4:30 and I get off work at 5, so I'm home with everyone by myself every night. My family has been incredibely amazing at helping out and helping to keep me around adults when I'm off of work. I end up spending a lot of time at my mom's house or at my brother's. Jeff working nights has definitely put a strain on our relationship, but we're trying everything in our power to keep it together. We both knew that it was a sacrifice we had to make to help us pay our bills, so here we are.

The kids are currently on summer break, so the whole family is trying to keep them occupied so they don't call me every 5 minutes. McKenna just turned 10 last Friday, so we had her birthday party this last weekend. Caya turned 8 in April and is still as cute and feisty as ever. Trevor is still just a really great kid and so easy to take care of. Chase is currently sporting a red cast due to a little mishap on his skateboard 2 weeks ago that broke his foot in 2 places. He hates being on crutches, but he's hangin in there. Miranda ............ where do I begin with her??? The last week of school, we found out she had been drinking AT school and at home. She had a couple "friends" that thought it would be a good idea to try to get away with drinking at school ... they got caught. We're working with her on that on top of trying to deal with the fact that her dad's girlfriend has a son Miranda's age that decided to touch her inappropriately while she was sleeping at the house. Good grief!!! What a mess!! We've gotten her really involved with the youth group at church and she's even going to church camp next week.

It's been a rough ride lately but we've got a lot of family and friends praying for us and offering help and advice.

Family day at the lake

About 2 weeks ago, we decided to take the kids and one of our dogs (Sedona) to the lake for the day and just let them play in the water. The whole idea was actually my husband's, but I think he was more anxious to take his new truck out to play in the dirt. LOL The kids had a great time and so did our dog. It was Sedona's first time out in a place like that, and she did amazing. She chased after the tennis ball into the water for about 3 hours straight until she finally collapsed from exhaustion and slept in the shade from the tailgate of the truck. All in all, everyone was pleasantly worn out by the end of the day. Chase and Trevor played for quite a while and tried getting on one of those rafts without knocking each other over ... which was hilarious to watch. McKenna and Caya made a new friend out there and played with her for most of the time and Miranda brought her friend Tiffany because it was Tiffany's birthday. The older girls didn't do much more than stand around and check out the guys in the area, but that's to be expected of 15-yr old girls. LOL

Here are some pictures of our day:

Sedona waiting for someone to throw the ball

Miranda and Sedona playing in the water

Chase and Trevor hangin out eating sunflower seeds

Caya and her new friend trying to get on the raft

Kenna just floatin' around

We really did have a great time and will more than likely be doing it again soon!!

It's all good!!

Well, we found out last week that my grandpa doesn't have cancer and that it was just a cyst, so the family is pretty excited about that. They said that it should go away by itself and that it isn't anything to worry about ... definitely a good thing!!!

Things have been fairly quiet around the house as far as anything major, is concerned. For the most part, things are going well for the kids in school. Miranda struggles in her math class, but she's going to tutoring after school, so it seems to be helping a little bit. Trevor always seems to have homework and is getting in a bit of trouble for talking too much, but he is his father's son, so that's to be expected. LOL Chase is really working hard to keep his grades up and do better this year than he did last year, but it's a lot of work. McKenna has always struggled more than any of them, but it's not for lack of effort. She really works hard, but it just doesn't come easy to her. Caya just seems to cruise right along in school so far. The only issues we have with her are at home and that's because of her attitude.

The only other thing going on is that I have an interview tonight after I get off work. I honestly don't know much about the job or what it pays. All I know, is that I got an email from my mom last Monday, that said, "Tonya, this was sent to me. I have no idea who this person is or anything about this job, but like you know, I do NOT believe in coincidence. So I am sending this on to you. This may be the job God has been preparing you for. I don't know, but I would NOT ignore it. " Under that, was an email from some lady saying that if you know anyone that might be interested in a new career to have them send her their resume. The crazy part of the whole thing is that my mom's name was not listed in the To: field. That email was not sent TO my mom, but somehow she got it. I don't understand it, but I'm not going to question it either. I forwarded the lady my resume right then and there and she called 3 days later to schedule an interview. So, tonight I go in to interview with her and find out what the position even is, so wish me luck!! LOL


Also, my friend Bre had her baby the other day and I have to say that he is absolutely one of THE most gorgeous babies I've ever seen. So sweet!! Bre, I know you're going to read this, so I just wanted to say thank you for letting me come up and visit you and the little guy and sorry I stayed for so dang long!!! : ) It was so nice catching up with you, but 4 hours doesn't cover the 4 1/2 years it's been since we hung out. Take care and love those babies!!!

Stuff goin on!!

Well, we've got Chase in counseling and things seem to be going pretty well. He really likes his counselor and to be honest, I think he has a crush on her. The way I see it ... whatever works!! We are going once a week on Thursdays and he seems to be ok with talking to her, which is a relief because he threw a fit when we were on our way there the first time. I think he likes having someone that he can confide in and not have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings.

I guess it's pretty standard with me, there's good news and there's bad news. Chase is doing great but my grandpa just had to go in yesterday for a mammogram. I had no idea guys could even get breast cancer, but I guess it is possible. So now we're just waiting for the results to see what the next step will be. Last year he had to have part of his bladder removed due to cancer, and everything seemed to be going so well and now this. We've got our whole family praying for him and anyone else that we come in contact with. I'll be continuing to post on this topic I'm sure. My grandpa is the closest thing I've ever had to a father figure, so he means the world to me. Please keep him in your prayers.

Good News!!

Well, since I last posted, another pretty amazing thing happened. My mom received an email from a family friend saying that she had come across a group that offers free counseling!!! Seriously, what are the odds??!! They are students in their final year of obtaining their Master's Degree and they have to do actual sessions on patients with an instructor present. So ... needless to say, Chase will be recieving the counseling that he is in dire need of and hopefully they are helpful to him.
Besides that, there really isn't a whole lot more going on except that Chase made the Flag Football team at school. He worked very hard during try-outs and they chose him to be part of the team!! Yay!!!! I'm very proud of him and way excited to see him out on the field!!!

The miracle of family!!!

Today the most amazing thing happened!!! My husband and I were talking thru text about how my son Chase was starting back in on his major attitude and back talking now that school has started and how we needed to find a way to come up with the extra money to take him back to counseling. Chase is an amazingly bright and sweet little boy, but has a temper that you would not EVEN believe!! He did really well over the summer, but now that school has started again, it seems to be flaring back up. Anyway, we were discussing the situation when I suddenly got an email at work from my mom that went to both of my brothers and their wives. The email contained a prayer request for my son. Of course, I immediately started crying right at my desk because it just shocked me so much but it touched me too. In it she asked that they pray for our financial situation and for Chase to be able to get the help he needs to help him control his temper and maintain some respect. I'm not a super religious person, but I do believe in God and the things that he can do, but WOW!!!! I haven't even talked to my mom about Chase's recent flare-ups AT ALL and here she is saying that God had laid it on her heart to send out the request to my family for prayer and for possibly some help financially so we can take him to his counseling sessions. He's only gone to one session, but I think with continued help, his counselor could make a world of difference for him. Just through that initial session, she brought a condition to my attention called Oppositional Defiance Disorder. This disorder has 8 primary symptoms or signs and my son fits 6 of them to a TEE!!! As I said before, he's a super sweet kid ... he's funny, bright, caring, sensitive and very compassionate. The problem though is that he doesn't know when to keep his mouth shut. He doesn't know when to drop the subject and instead, he continues until he gets more and more trouble. Once that happens, there's almost no stopping him. Once he gets past a certain point, he cannot and will not stop. It's gotten so bad that I was going to call the cops because he hit me on the arm and tried to bite my hand because I was holding both of his arms. Once the word police was out of my mouth, he immediately snapped out of it and started crying saying that he was sorry and that he didn't want to go to jail. This is a 12 year old little boy here, so my heart was absolutely broken and I was a total mess. He's had a temper problem all his life, but not to this extent.

My mom just now sent me another email while I was writing this that said, "Tonya, you are to set up an appt. for him and pray and stand on faith that the money will be there some how. God can do anything, and money is not beyond His reach." So, I'm going to call and try to set up and appointment for him and just hope that the money will indeed be there. Wish me luck and keep me in your prayers!!!

We're almost through the 1st week of school!!!

Well, I'm happy to announce, that the entire crew started back to school Monday and they all survived!!! Miranda started her sophomore year without a hitch ... so far, Trevor started the new school and seems to like it and made more friends than he thought he would, Chase went back to his school and is right back in with his "lovely" friends that I can't stand, Kenna and Caya also started their new school and have already made some new "best friends" as well. Now, if I could only get back into the swing of things and get back on track as far as getting them to bed early and getting them up on time to get ready, then we'd all be doing swell. LOL At this point, I'm still looking for a job that I can do from home so I'm able to do more and be there for them instead of getting them out of bed and having to race out the door so I can get to work on time. Wish me luck

Update

Well, I almost completely forgot that I had this thing, so I guess I should update it a little. LOL Here's a picture taken last month of the "crew" just north of Sedona at a trout farm. From left to right we have Chase 12, Trevor almost 13, McKenna 9, Miranda 15 and Caya 7.

There really isn't too much going on right now except for getting ready for school to start. Only have 5 days left and I seriously cannot wait!!! This is the first year that Kenna and Caya (9 and 7) have stayed home for the summer and I simply can't find the words for how it has gone. I had the older 3 kids be in charge of the younger ones so I didn't have the daycare expense anymore. Now, Kenna and Caya are not the super mischievous types, so it only requires that one of the older ones be there in case someone gets hurt. Sounds simple enough, right?? Hahahahahahaha!!! On average, I get about 8 calls a day from the kids because someone is bored, being picked on, wants to go somewhere, broke something or hit someone else. Some days are obviously better than others, but that's about the gist of how it goes. You would think with my husband home on Tuesdays and Fridays, that I wouldn't get those phone calls, right? Once again ............ hahahahahahaha!! I get MORE phone calls when he's home because the kids don't think he's fair to them or they don't want to ask him if they can go somewhere because he always says no. Ok ... I have to admit ... sometimes they are right. Jeff and I don't exactly have the same views on raising kids. He expects them to be absolutely perfect at all times and I, on the other hand, understand that they are kids and that they are going to make mistakes. I think (I'll save all of that for another day when we've had a falling out over that particular topic and I just need to vent.) LOL Anyway, the kids are finally going back to school in 5 days!!! Miranda will be a Sophomore, Chase and Trevor will be in 7th grade, Kenna in 4th and Caya in 2nd. Trevor (TJ), Kenna and Caya all will be starting a new school this year and I think I'm more nervous than they are!!! The school that TJ has been going to is about 8 miles from our house and about 12 miles from his mom's house. He's gone there since like 3rd grade and his mom wanted him to go there til the 6th grade, since it's only a K thru 6 school. He was going to have to move to a new school anyway, so HE decided he wanted to go to school with all of his friends, but that would make it EXTREMELY inconvenient for everyone because we all have to work and can't go and pick him up everyday. We decided to give him the option of going to school by his mom's house or over by us. He opted for the school by our house. Now, where we live, we are directly down the street from the high school and then next to that is the elementary school where TJ will be going. My other 4 kids have gone to a different school that is across a major street from us, so they've had to have a variance. It isn't very far, but I don't like them crossing that busy street (especially since we're so close to the high school). So this year, we've decided to let Chase stay at his school, but move the 2 little girls to the school that we're zoned for. I've gone to a total of 14 schools in my life (not by choice), so the thought of them switching kinda freaks me out a little. I know that they are both VERY friendly and will have made at least 3 new best friends by the end of their first day, but it's still hard. LOL We have the meet and greet with their teachers this Friday, so we'll see how it goes.

I think I've typed enough for right now, so if there's anything else I think of later, I'll just jump back on here and go for it.

How do you explain??

How do you help a child deal with the death of a friend? For that matter, how do you help them deal with it or understand it? Yesterday, my step-son, Trevor, found out that his best friend had passed away. Not only am I trying to help him cope, my son, Chase, (who is 8 months younger) is struggling with it also. This is the 2nd death that Trevor has had to deal with in the last 5 months. The day before Mother's Day, Trevor's mom's ex-boyfriend took his own life because she broke up with him .... he was in his mid 30's!!! Trevor seems to have dealt with that a little bit better than he is with his friend Kyle's passing. Kyle apparently had really bad asthma and earlier this week, while playing with his dog, he collapsed in his front room. After rushing him to the hospital, they discovered that his lung had collapsed. As of right now, he is still "with us" physically, but has absolutely no brain activity. They currently have him on life support because he wanted to help other kids, so the parents are donating his organs. Personally, I think that is an extremely selfless act and I applaud them. Knowing that while they can no longer help Kyle, they can still help countless other people. Trevor likes to talk about Kyle alot right now and I don't blame him. It's so hard though to see the hurt in his eyes as he talks about him. Chase came in to me last night while I was trying to go to bed, crying his eyes out saying that he couldn't stop thinking about Kyle. Chase didn't even know him. Chase is struggling with the fact that Kyle was so young and doesn't think that life is fair. In his eyes, he doesn't think that anyone should die ....... EVER. How do you make someone his age understand when you don't understand it yourself? We didn't even know Kyle and it hit me so hard, I had to leave work and go home. I just sat at my desk crying and wishing that there was something I could do for poor Trevor. My biggest fear is that he will start to have a hard time getting attached to people for fear that they may die on him too. So far, he's doing ok. I'm just literally hoping and praying that he stays strong and continues to be the happy little boy that I've always known.

The joy of total and complete insanity

Looking back at my first post, I realized how morose it sounded and how much it showed the darker side of my life, which very few people see. That is NOT me very often ...... I don't have time. LOL

My life tends to be more of a maelstrom of activity ...... constantly. My oldest daughter (14) is in high school and has discovered a desire to be more involved in things. She has just started volleyball, which practices on Tuesdays and Thursdays and then has a game on Saturdays. My two little girls (8 and 6), have just joined a soccer team and are thankfully on the same team. They also practice on Tues. and Thurs. and have games on Saturdays. My son (11) continues to play baseball and has practice on Mondays or Wednesdays (sometimes both) and plays not 1, but 2 games a week, usually on Fridays and Saturdays. My husband also plays softball on Friday nights and is currently playing 3 games every Friday. So, between playing taxi for everyone for their games and making sure that everyone is where they belong, I obviously don't have a whole lot of time to dwell on much. LOL I do have to admit though that I absolutely LOVE seeing them out there doing what they love and watching them learn teamwork and how to interact with these other children. It's stressful sometimes though.

I've already given you tidbits of info on my kids and husband, so let me introduce you to the bulk of my family ..... my kids.

My son (Chase - 11) has obviously been given the gift of anger and attitude from his father (the ex). He can be the sweetest and most loving little boy you've ever met in your life. He tends to be a tad overly sensitive at times (another gift from dad), but we're trying to break him of that. Chase has a hard time understanding that he has to suffer consequences when he messes up and has to accept responsibility for his actions also. His mouth tends to write checks his rear can't cash, so to speak. LOL Him and my husband clash in a very very big way. For that matter, Chase clashes with a lot of people, but he's my "only" little boy. : )

Miranda (the high schooler - 14) is a very witty and intelligent girl. She's got the most contagious laugh and she's gorgeous .... thankfully, she isn't quite aware of that though. LOL She is ADHD, so she tends to be quite a challenge as well. She does take medication to help her maintain and stay focused during the day. Unfortunately, after 8 years of taking that medication, she still can't remember to take them on a daily basis without being reminded. Being the oldest child, I expect more of her than she's willing to give.

Trevor (step-son - 12) seems to be a touch ADD also in my opinion but my opinion doesn't matter much with his mom. LOL He's a wonderful kid and fit right in with my kids from the very beginning. I expected him to have a hard time since he was an only child and doted on by both of his parents. He shares his dad very well though with my kids. The biggest issue we tend to have with him is that he has a bad habit of lying. Other than that though, he's a wonderful little boy with more girlfriends that we can keep up with. (He's got his dad's charm and wit.)

My little girl, McKenna (8) has got to be the easiest child in the world to deal with. She was a piece of cake to deal with from day one. She seems to be under the impression that she's much older than her 8 years though. LOL I'm constantly being asked when she can shave her legs and when she can have a cell phone. There tends to be attitude on occasion, but it usually blows over fairly quickly. She's my Kenna and my little mommy. She rides the older kids like she's their mom and tries to tell them what to do all the time.

Where do I even start with Caya (the baby - 6)? She was my hardest pregnancy, my unhappiest baby and the moodiest 6 yr old I've ever seen. She's my baby though. LOL Her favorite character is Tinkerbell, which suits her right to the ground. Super super cute and so sweet one minute and then screaming and throwing a tantrum the next. I don't know how many times I've heard her utter the words (whining & screaming) "I KNEW today wasn't going to be a good day!!!!!!!!!!!!", while I watch her storm into her bedroom.


So ........ welcome to my world. The joy has only just begun. LOL Through all of these ramblings, I'm sure you'll hear more about my kids and husband and about my mom, 2 brothers and their wives and kids. You'll also hear stories about my 2 absolute best friends and the expeditions we take and have taken in the past. You'll also hear about things that drive me crazy and maybe a little insight into who I am and where I come from.

I think I will learn to REALLY enjoy this blogging thing. : )

I'm just me

When I look back and see where I've been and what I've been through in my life, it never ceases to amaze me that I am where I am now. I'm a 32 yr. old mother of 4 biological children and 1 step son, married now for the 2nd time to a wonderful man that knows how to and does drive me insane in many different ways. How did I get here in one piece? How am I not one of those extrememely messed up individuals that trusts no one, does all kinds of drugs and is just a victim of life? Who do I have to thank for that? Is it hereditary or was it just in me to overcome it, learn from it and just move on? We all have our issues and we've all been through our fair share of trials and tribulations, right? How is it that some of us can move on and so many others hold on to it all and use it as an excuse to continue to remain victims? I'm not saying that I've completely overcome everything and that things from my past don't come back to haunt me from time to time, but in my own personal opinion, I think I've done pretty well.

Just a brief synopsis of my life as it is now would consist of 3 girls (Miranda - 14, McKenna - 8, Caya (pronounced Kya) - 6 and 2 boys (Trevor (step-son) - 12 and Chase - 11). It would also consist me surviving my first year of marriage to my husband, Jeff. We've actually known each other for about 17 years, but lost contact after high school, only to regain it and eventually fall in love and get married. It's definitely been tough, but it's to be expected too.

I've never done this whole blogging thing before, nor have I ever even read one, but there have been so many times that I've wanted and needed to just "talk" and get things out in the open, so I decided to try this and see where it gets me. When I was younger and all the way thru my first marriage, I would TRY to find a quiet place to sit down and just pull out a notebook and write to my heart's content. Now in my new marriage, I don't often get the time or the quiet place, so I'm trying this instead. I tried doing the writing thing once before at home because things were especially rough and I thought my husband was going to have a coronary. He's very insecure and needy at times and he just couldn't grasp the concept of me doing something without him and especially the thought of me writing something he wasn't privy to. That was almost a year ago and I STILL hear about it from time to time. Until I get my computer up and running at home, the only time I'll ever be able to do this is at work. Heck .... even if I did have my computer working at home, I'd never have the opportunity to be on it ..... not with 5 kids that all want to be on it. Not to mention Jeff probably wanting to know what was going on and what I was writing. Insecurity is a dangerous thing and not something I handle very well, but we're definitely working on it. LOL As time goes on, we get better and better, but it's been a very long and difficult road. It seems like our biggest issues deal with money, kids and me wanting to be my own person from time to time. It seems like I've always been someone's mom or someone's wife.